you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
