ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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