this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
