I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She tied me up with her honor cords...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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