I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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