dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
