OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
my poor anus
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
