Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
