Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
