Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
