No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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