Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
