so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
