Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
