we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
