just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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