it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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