Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Someone came in the potted fern
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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