Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
