So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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