Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
