I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I would ride that face into the sunset
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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