It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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