I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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