chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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