So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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