You surviving the open bar?
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When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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