god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
