Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
