So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
