She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I smell like Dick and happiness
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
