Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
