I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
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You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
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I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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