Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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