at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
