so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She bit a glass in half.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
They have beer where we have blood.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
