butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
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Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
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after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense