I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.