I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
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I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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