Are we in a gay sports bar?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
