Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard