I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.