remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
