super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
