we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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