Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
