Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
