Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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