none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
