What tipped you off? The sombrero?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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