My room smells like vodka and shame
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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