My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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