Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
