I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
