I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
May the power of my ass compel you!!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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