I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize