my sisters under your porch take her home
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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