If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
