The maid of honor just puked.
She announced her abortion via fbk
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
