I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
