I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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