You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
