We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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