We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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