He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
