you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
