do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
