just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
