Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
