I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
