When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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